Tales of the Ouran
by Mirakuru Rein
Summary: Drabble 2: Hikaru and Kaoru have fun in Health Ed. Twincest. ON HIATUS.
1. Gemini

Tales of the Ouran

By Mirakuru Rein

//Chapter 1: Gemini

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"Hikari-kun and Kaoru-kun should be represented by the Gemini sign! After all, they are twins!"

Four customers of the Host Club nodded to this, all voicing their opinions to the Hitachiin brothers sitting at their table. One especially enthusiastic girl spoke up.

"No, no! Two sides of a broken heart – the eternal symbols of forbidden sibling love!"

The wealthy maidens sighed lustfully, tiny white hands clasped to their cheeks. This answer seemed to please them, but the twins looked bored, doubtful expressions on their faces.

"Aa, aa!" Kaoru grabbed Fujioka's tea-tray-laden arm. "What do you think, Haruhi? An appropriate emblem for the both of us?"

The only female member of the Host Club put her forefinger to her chin, her eyes gazing off onto the distant wall. "Eh…if I'd have to choose, probably the yin-yang symbol, you know? Both are individual and totally different from each other, but they depend on each other and balance each other." Her eyes return to the two in question. "Like you two. Kaoru, the soft-spoken, calm one, and Hikaru, the rebellious, brash one. Together you are a team."

In the near background, hordes of love-struck girls squealed with pulsating hearts in their eyes. Hikaru and Kaoru, however, merely shrugged.

"I suppose she's right…"

"Suppose so, I guess…"

Haruhi smiled and started away. "Excuse me, I have guests to serve."

Neither of the twins would ever admit it, but she had pinned their existence down to the very core.

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A/N: In the anime, the twins said they had a hard time explaining their relationship. I simplified it for them. xDD

Review please?


	2. Health Ed Part 1

Tales of the Ouran

By Mirakuru Rein

//Chapter 2: Health Ed Part 1

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"Alright, class, we will be doing CPR today, a topic many of the girls have requested to do," explained the health ed teacher, a sprightly young female who looked like she just graduated from college. The girls in the class looked hopefully at the host club, wondering which girls were going to be the lucky picks of the day.

The female sensei pointed to the chart on the wall. "Read these instructions before you volunteer – this will save your 'injured' party's life, and will certainly become useful in the future. So, if there are any volunteers, please step up to the front of the class."

The girls squealed and were starting to chatter about their partners, but the Hitachiin brothers had already made their way to the front of the room.

"Sensei, can we please try?" pleaded Kaoru.

"After all, we practice CPR on each other _all the time_," Hikaru said, stressing the last few words.

The female students had hearts in their eyes by now, but the teacher looked slightly uncomfortable. "Well, if you don't mind," she said, her cheeks flushing, "maybe others…" She trailed off when the twins peered at her reddening face.

"Hmm?" the twins chanted in unison. "We do mind."

Pushing the startled and helpless teacher aside, Kaoru laid down on the floor, and the two began an obviously rehearsed, dramatic scene.

"Kaoru…don't die!" (No one had noticed Hikaru's deft hands slipping drops into his eyes.)

"Hikaru…please…just go on without me…"

Hikaru shook his head. "Never! Perhaps…I can still save you…"

He pressed his lips against the other boy's, breathing air into Kaoru's mouth. The teacher gulped, sweat running down her cheeks.

"Better, Kaoru?"

"No…not really…"

Hikaru grabbed Kaoru again, locking his mouth with his twin's, and it became clear that this was not a mere mouth-to-mouth anymore. They were kissing passionately, fingers diving underneath each other's shirts, uttering moans of enjoyment – a full-blown make-out session.

There was a moment of silence, then a thud. The teacher had fainted. The rest of the females in the room screamed and gushed with glee, some even taking pictures of the scene to plaster upon their walls and stare at forever.

Two minutes later, the twins broke apart, gasping for air. They took one glance at the teacher ("Homophobe," they decided), then walked steadily to the back of the room, looking pleased with themselves.

Tamaki was staring at them with dumbfounded eyes. "You…you actually…"

"Kyouya-senpai, how was that?" they both asked in their regular, devilish voices.

"We've secured a 115 percent increase of business for the next two weeks," he replied, pushing his glasses up. "Good work. I expect you two will be the most requested hosts during that time."

Tamaki turned on his best friend. "Kyouya…you…you _let_ them…?"

The rest of the host club looked unaffected. "Typical," they sighed together.

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A/N: Argh…I think I'm getting way too twin-centric. But I just love them! xD Don't worry, the others will soon make an their own major appearances…next chapter is Honey and the dangers of Health Ed.

Review please?


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